You disrespect yourself when you rekindle a relationship that humiliated you. F them memories and them.
Cutting ties with people who hurt you isn’t enough and you have to cut ties with the version of yourself that allowed that treatment to go on.
Healing makes you realize some people never deserved to be around you, no matter how much you love them. Unconditional love doesn’t tolerate abuse, disrespect or bullshit. Our roads weren’t intended to intertwine as there was no truth between us. I can’t force you to stand tall by my side nor share a spotlight you believe you’re beyond as value should never need convincing thus I separate myself from the insincere, I am thankful for our distance.
Encountering disrespectful behaviour from others can be unnerving and upsetting. If someone has been disrespectful to you, you may be left wondering how to respond—or if you should respond. Take time to assess what happened and figure out if the other person really intended to be disrespectful. If you feel the need to address their behaviour, calm down and think about how to react first. Be empathetic, but don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and don’t automatically conclude that they are intentionally out to hurt you. Ask yourself if the behaviour is part of a consistent pattern or a one-off event, and think about whether or not it seems to be directed at you personally.
Ask for clarification if necessary. It’s easy to misunderstand other people’s words or actions. If you’re not sure whether someone is intentionally, sometimes it can be helpful to ask. Be empathetic with the other person if you can. Even if their behaviour was clearly disrespectful, do your best not to take it personally. Consider what the person might be going through or what the underlying reasons for their behaviour are. Assess your own reaction to what they said or did. Sometimes your reaction to someone else’s behaviour says more about your own emotional state than about anything they did. Take a moment to consider why you are upset by their words or actions, and ask yourself whether your reaction is justified.
Leaving the funeral (abruptly) of your family member is a DISRESPECT. There’s no if, buts or maybe. No partner of yours will do that if they truly respected you!!!
However, responding impulsively or saying the first thing that pops into your head can just escalate the situation. If you’re upset, take a moment to breathe and get your feelings under control. Encourage them to rethink their behaviour. Speak to the other person directly if you decide to confront them. If you feel that someone is disrespecting you, it’s usually best to talk to them one-on-one. Set clear boundaries if disrespectful behaviour is a pattern. Appropriate boundaries are an important part of any healthy relationship. It’s especially important to set and enforce clear boundaries with people who have a pattern of being disrespectful to you. Let the person know what you are and are not willing to tolerate, and establish clear consequences if they fail to respect your boundaries. If they still don’t apologise, gaslight you and justify their behaviour you know where you stand.
A King with the wrong Queen can’t protect his Kingdom if the most significant threat to his manhood is inside his own castle. If your partner is beating you down and ripping masculinity from you and constantly haggling you, breaking you down and ripping away any type of leadership skills that you have, you need to get rid of that woman. Stop caring for her who is not treating you well or appreciating you and not respecting you. You do not win an award for sticking around. You do not win a prize for saving her. Stop putting so much effort into people who would rather lose you than admit they’re wrong.
Some people are only meant to cross paths with you – that is all. They are not supposed to stay in your life forever because if they did – then why did it feel so wrong? Why did it hurt so much? Because if they had to leave then why did they come into your life to begin with? But they had to. Believe me. Some people are passers-by on a journey that is all about growth, healing and happiness. These people arrive in the form of light and warmth but leave as darkness that you stumble over.
Sometimes those you love have to leave and you have to let them. Men have to understand you have value here. You’re just as important to this relationship as she is. So just as you need to give to her, she needs to give to you and I think more importantly, you have to get to a point, where you are not afraid if she walks away from you. Men, especially good men like myself, get caught up in the fear of losing her that they do everything in their power to keep her. Not realizing that now, rather than losing her, you’re losing yourself. Here’s the crazy thing, in that dynamic, you’re still going to lose her.
Your lack of self-worth and self-respect becomes unattractive to her. If you don’t see your value, she ain’t seeing it either. If you do have low self-worth, you need to build yourself up. That’s why you gotta get to work and make things happen. Give women something to respect about you. Being a man does not garner respect. You have to be a man with vision, a plan and about something. One thing people need to understand about extremely kind, nice and loving people is that their other side is just as extreme. it’s the hell they survived that makes them gentle. Don’t mistake their self-control for weakness.
Toxic women destroy good men too but we rarely speak about that. Nobody talks about how much this man endures during this so-called ‘healing stage’. Listening, being understanding, ignoring his own issues to support you through yours, teaching you all men aren’t the same. All of which he has nothing to do with but drains himself because he deems you worth it. This is why I’ll never put anybody through this. If I am healing it means I’m emotionally unavailable until I can be ready to even talk to a person.
The point of having a woman as a man is for her to be his peace and quiet. Our life is stressful already. When I come home, I want her to make me happy. She should be my positive energy. If you’re sitting there constantly arguing over small points or correcting him, we probably think this is another battle. I don’t have the energy for another fight, that’s disrespectful especially when I am out fighting the world!
Being a genuine person comes with a lot of disappointments. You expect people to be built like you and respect the same values as you. I forgive I just don’t forget so if you did something to me, that I don’t appreciate and it’s that detrimental then I believe the best thing for us is not to do this and talk anymore. No matter what the circumstances are, I learned to love a lot of people from afar and it hurts me when I see something happens. Especially anybody that I once loved. But you cannot violate me and think that I am going to ever forget what you did and if you press that line then imma give you what I should have given you in the first place.
So true. When you go back willingly to a relationship that hurt you, you have to question the motive and whether in the end it will be good for you – probably not. Great post, Jason. Sending you a big hug xx
Thank you Janet!
LikeLiked by 1 person