The ideal partner

When you finally meet the one and she has everything you wanted and more !!!

Men love women differently, normally idealistically compared to their counterparts, who are usually opportunistically. As a man, I know women love you, for several things, money, status, confidence, ambition and your mind. There are a whole bunch of things that women look for before they actually love, submit and want to be with him. For men, we don’t have as many requirements. But if you’ve had any failed relationship previously, you can weed out women you don’t want in your life.

I knew my next relationship would bring out the best version of me. The ideal partner can be found in someone who has developed themselves in specific ways that go beyond looks, charms and success. Although we all seek out a specific set of qualities that is uniquely meaningful to us alone, there are specific psychological characteristics both you and your significant other can strive for that makes the relationship much more likely for lasting success.

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There is no way to tell who loves who more and that’s definitely not a requirement for a healthy relationship. This requires two people that are actually compatible with each other, effective communication, trust, respect and conflict resolution skills. I think women trying to find men that “love them more” is an attempt to find men that will kiss their asses and allow them to get their way. And we know women are prone to engage in or believe in anything that gives them an advantage over men. So the women that believe in that, end relationships because they assume he didn’t love them more. They’re more likely to end up regretting their decisions and struggling to actually find and maintain a healthy relationship. Unless they happen to find a dude that is so weak and in love that he doesn’t hold her accountable for her behaviour and just allows her to do whatever she wants. However, this isn’t how quality men respond to chicks that have princess expectations for their relationships.

From where I stand in my life currently, my ideal woman has pushed me to take action and attempt all the things I speak about wanting to do/learn. A woman (born without a penis) and is a highly loyal person! A nice, warm, compassionate woman, [one] who looks out for my best interests and is voluptuous. She is open to talking about everything and willing to discuss because shit is going to happen but willing to work through it so communication is key.

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She doesn’t have random outbursts with her emotions and controls them like an adult instead of throwing her toys out of the pram. A professional woman who is determined and intelligent in a way that makes you want to better yourself to not be left behind. Also, a woman with gentle kindness makes people want to befriend her. Someone I can share the daily, household duties with equally. She teaches me to lower my guard and express myself in ways I never would’ve imagined. I don’t have “to handle her” and deal with her bullshit. She wants to be my peace and wants me to like being around her.

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Overwhelming trust is a given, both ways. I am not and never plan to be the jealous type. I want her to have as much fun with her friends without me as she wants and vice-versa. She has a lot of good girlfriends (something’s wrong if a girl does not have any peeps). But a woman who is careful with her mouth as mandem take your words for something else. So no “babe” etc if it isn’t done on me.

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Starting a family together is another given to us, there’s no point in a relationship nowadays unless it’s a forever deal. She has that mix of confidence, intelligence, ambition, and independence that comes from introspection. Intimate and self-deprecating. Cannot be taller than me or have clown feet.

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She is insightful and artistic without being pretentious or too hipster. Open taste in music. Smart without being critical. Kind to strangers especially service workers. She isn’t a fashion icon but has her own style.  Honest, attractive, chemistry (physical and emotional), great conversation, can take a joke, friendly banter. She isn’t a fan of sports but can watch them with me and will understand when I want to just watch a game of football in peace from time to time.

(without the pet)

She has a basic understanding of time and can take fair criticism especially if she does something wrong. Trauma(ish)-free! Not easily offended. Nobody wants a feminist so grow up. Men and women are different, let’s be real now. It’s never been about equality but usually, equality is when it benefits women, who want special privileges and treatment at the expense of men. She is willing to learn new things. No drama, flexible and solution-orientated and considerate of my feelings. She understands I am not responsible to be tip-toeing around her triggers! She fixes them and not at my expense.

My ideal woman is feminine (who wants a mandem?) You can’t change from masculine to feminine, it’s nature and not a personality. Love is not enough for me but she showcases that because people can love you and still hurt you. Loyalty and respect are way more challenging and it takes a different character to sustain a solid relationship. Personal career aspirations and family oriented. Sticks up for me no matter what, she knows when I am wrong in private, but still backs me up in public. Respects my family. Takes care of her body and doesn’t do anything that jeopardizes her long-term health especially since we’re in this together. 

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People who speak down to their partners deep down do not respect them. It is impossible you see someone worthy and you speak so dismissively at them. When you see your partner as your head, you’re naturally humble and careful of how you speak with him. Think of your boss (at work) for instance, you listen to him/her as your leader but you can’t do that for your partner? Make it, make sense. You’re not grown until you know how to communicate, apologise, be truthful and accept accountability without blaming someone else. A woman stressing a man out with her behaviour shows that they aren’t compatible and if a woman constantly pisses a man off and stresses him out, he chose the wrong woman! A woman is supposed to be in her man’s comfort zone. Not a constant source of frustration. Women like that make it easy for their man to find comfort and peace of mind with someone else! So if this is a woman’s blueprint for keeping a man she has a very flawed view of how relationships really work! All of the negative behaviours have been proven to push men away, cause them to fall out of love and lead them to cheat and/or end relationships!

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However, she is my perfect woman, who doesn’t have it all but has a bit of everything. She is classy in all the right ways and understands from a man’s point of view. Mandem, it’s okay to have standards when picking your partner. The reality is, a woman is a representation of you. So if your girl acts or behaves a certain way, you need to tell her that her behaviour is unacceptable. Most guys don’t have the balls to put their woman in the place. So, if your woman acts out of pocket, what you’re inadvertently doing is making you look bad in the process.

Nevertheless, it took me years to find her, (hurt a couple of times by trash women who just wasted my time and were not serious) but finally got someone that I can see myself in the future with. I know you’re reading this! Thank you for being you! Love X

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The Don

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