Be real with yourself

All too often people make a big drama about expressing “authenticity,” when in reality, being true to yourself is quite simple. 


I am so grateful to be alive and living in this time. I am grateful for my life, family and friends. Every morning when I wake up my first thought is, “Thank you God for waking me up”

Everyone wants to feel loved and to give love freely without fear. I’ve given love that hasn’t been given back or respected enough, so I do understand if there is a mental block when trying to give out love. Nevertheless, as long as your self-love is strong enough, you’ll know when real love is REAL LOVE! Who doesn’t want to feel good about themselves and sustain healthy relationships? For anyone who has been on this 5 year journey with me of my blog, I am a complicated person, who only give you what I want you to know. I may not be talking in live events but that’s the beauty of my blog, right?

But for many, there are real barriers:

  • Failure to notice the stories we tell ourselves and the roles we play.
  • Fear of being discovered as unworthy.
  • Lack of awareness of our needs and boundaries. If we don’t know what they are, we can’t share them with others.
  • Fear of losing control of others’ perceptions of us.

Below is how to move past these roadblocks and develop a positive relationship with yourself;

1.       Own your emotions

  • Feelings are a sign of where you’ve been, or where you need to go.  Face your feelings and listen to what they are telling you. Accept all emotions without judgement.

Men don’t always express in words the heavy burdens they carry. Believe it or not, small gestures like hugs, shoulder massages (for even a minute or two), scalp rubs, kisses on the face, an enthusiastic smile when you first see us and peaceful silence can be powerful for healing. If he chooses to speak about what’s bothering him, just listen without judging him, challenging him or criticising him, or he may just keep it to himself. Men are human too and don’t want to touch which will lead to sex. We love sex but also need simple kindness and connection. Kindness and affection doesn’t make us soft, needy or weak. It simply recharges us and keeps us strong. I really don’t understand why women think they can tell men what they do and don’t care about based off the way he chooses to deal with his emotions. There is a reason that men don’t display their emotions like women. Because they aren’t women!

But it’s this type of thought process that make women incorrectly judge men and end up making foolish decisions as a result. A lot of women judge everything that a man says and does based off of what she would have said, done, or felt if she was in that situation. That is problematic. So they literally create problems with men for not thinking and making decisions like a woman. A man can be very hurt about something and the only way you would know it if he decides to tell you about it. He could be hurt or pissed off for days, week and months and function normally without any emotional breakdowns or outburst.

2.       Take off your masks

  • Not your face coverings, COVID is still real.
  • Notice the personas you create. What role do you tend to play in your relationships?
  • To help illuminate the masks we wear, go a whole week asking this question: “Am I talking about myself?” If you react strongly to another, you may be judging disowned parts of yourself.

3.       Respect your boundaries.

Our limits literally define where we end and others begin.  To have a good self-concept, you must, start spending time with people who support your efforts. No loving person will leave you in your time of need especially when you’re grieving, mentally unstable. This pandemic has been tough for a lot of people, if those still want more from you, just do you! Don’t be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself trying to please everyone.

4.       Trust your intuition

  • You can’t fuck up anything that is meant for you, so stop being so scared of what will happen. Trust your intuition and let your heart and soul guide you on this journey. I promise you, you can not mess anything up, that is meant for you.
  • Pay attention to your gut feelings without explanations or second-guessing.
  • If they’re comfortable to leave you in your one of your darkest days, they have proven your point. Fuck them! So leave that relationship that is harming you, leave that job that has no purpose for you.
  • If you are starting to make positive changes in your life, you will be afraid, that’s fine. But if you are following your deeper self, it will feel more like an expansion.

I have bounced back from the worst. Trust me, you will always be alright. Don’t let your bad days/weeks trick you into thinking you have a bad life. It’s a beautiful day to stop dwelling on things you can’t control. Short-term discomfort for long-term peace. The older I get, the more I realise having a peace of mind is more important than proving a point. Taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of the rest of your body. Accountability will always feel an attack when you are not ready to acknowledge how their behaviour harms others.

You are not normal and no I’m not talking to most of y’all because most of y’all are very normal and that’s ok. Here’s the thing about living in this world and not being normal, you’re more powerful than they are and so because of that they don’t like you. And because you give them so much of your power because you want to fit in they use it against you and it makes you feel weak. But you aren’t weak. That’s YOUR power they are using against you. Take it back. They don’t understand you, they don’t deserve you. It’s because you are not normal. You’re struggling with life because you are trying to fit into a normal persons role. Release yourself. Be YOU. You are not normal. Why do you keep trying to persuade normal people to understand you? You’re way too much for them. How could they possibly do that? It’s irrational.

You’re not a loser, fuck what they think. You are good enough. Actually, you are probably overqualified. But, let’s start this week off humble. Own your power. Straighten your back. Lift your head up. Take a deep breath and accept who you are. Accept your role. You are not normal! Accept yourself. Some roads you need to take alone. No friends, no family, no partner. Just you and the universe. The best revenge is no revenge. Move on. Be happy. Find inner peace. Flourish. Tell yourself, “I’m not going to stress about anything anymore because I know, no mater what it is, it is going to be taken care of just as everything else has been in my life. SO long as I remain committed to myself, find happiness and peace in each given moment and surrender to the things, I cannot change, I know my life will be good. I know all is well. I know I am well” Now carry on and be real with yourself.

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