Deeper love from a black man

The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days right from your birth until you fall in love.

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Some people won’t love you no matter what you do and some people won’t stop loving you, no matter what you do. Go where the love is. Stop giving out chances. If they hurt you once, they’re more than likely going to do it again. So many good women have dealt with the wrong man and so many good men have dealt with the wrong woman that by the time you 2 finally meet, you’re both afraid of each other.

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I know a lot of men/women alike struggle with this.  I know for myself, choosing to love wholly again did not start out easy! I remember telling my friend that I’d never get married. The idea of celebrating and glorifying ‘forever’ after such a massive disappointment was a no-no, never again! But there were plenty of proofs, I should have headed before I fully gave myself to a person in the past.

I’ve got to believe that my true love is out there and worth waiting for especially as my heart has been broken. Yeah, I’ve been cheated on, lied to and probably left for someone else but I am still outchea trying to find love like I’ve never been hurt. I won’t give up on real love. It’s everything and I deserve to feel so special and honoured so that I can no longer be mad at what I’ve been through before because it will help me understand how to appreciate my blessings TODAY! I then can look back with confidence and say “Yep, I needed that to happen”

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It’s not easy to love somebody once you know their painful truth. I think that’s why so many of us don’t love ourselves. We show people the best version of ourselves but we’re really just hiding.  I know because I too once lived in that place and hid well so no one could see the real me. I was so scared of appearing less than I would like to be the perceived that I hid and hurt alone. I know that someone reading this is hiding and hurting. If you are anything like I was, you put up a good front. As hard a lesson that was for me to learn, I realized something, everyone has their truth. Most hide it away for the same reasons I did – shame.

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Boundaries are a beautiful thing because no one can treat you anyway, except you what you allow them. Once you know better, do better. Make the adjustment because who knows when that other person will be willing. You don’t like being spoken to that way, let them know. Then when it happens again, you don’t have to lose your mind. Simply shut it down and carry on. They won’t know how to act! This may be exactly the help this relationship needs to be saved in the long term. Boundaries don’t just stop disrespect, they establish new healthy guidelines to operate by. My personality attracts people, scares them away and makes them want to come back later. I don’t chase people, I do my own thing, be myself and work hard. The right people – the ones that really belong in my life, will come to me and stay.

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Imagine meeting someone who wanted to learn your past not to punish you but to understand how you needed to be loved.

I write to my missus, so let’s fall in love. Not like social media shows us but like our great-grandparents did. Where women understood the value of a good man and men truly treat women as their queens. I’ll be your strength, you’ll be my backbone. I’ll protect you forever and you’ll nurture me. Not by the standards of what Instagram or Facebook shows us but a deep love that goes beyond words or signs. It can exist, I know it does so let me take you there. The love we’ve got for each other is powerful. I love everything about you. She’s one unique woman that I will cherish, love and care for the rest of my life. It took me 20 something years to find the woman of my dreams. Someone who loves cares and thinks about me just as much as you think about them. That’s so important in a relationship. I’ve been there when you love someone but they don’t quite love you the same back. That’s hard. I want to find someone who appreciates me for who I am, loves me, takes care of me and will do their utmost to make me happy. Be with me because you make me better, who doesn’t always tell me what I want to hear but what I need to hear. Do you have my best interest at heart? Will you take care of my kids? Your mindset will do that, not your good looks or assets. A man that cannot be manipulated by sex, intimidates a woman because she must bring something of real value to the table.

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All breast shall fall

I don’t want someone who’s going to compare me with their ex, ever thought there’s a reason why they’re an ex? I don’t want to be hearing about failed relationships, this is me! Judge me on JasDon. I really don’t care what your exes did or didn’t do for you. It’s all nonsense as they’re not with you, now!

If you cannot put a checkmark next to all of the above, then I don’t want it. That’s when the relationship will flourish. Like I’ve always said right from the moment I met you. You’re the one!

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God, I’m frustrated at the moment but I trust you.

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So I will keep speaking things into existence, ignore me

There are several factors that go into a man deciding to be in a committed relationship with a woman. A man can really like or even love a woman and still decide not to get in a relationship with her for a variety of reasons. I think the ‘if he really likes me, he’ll commit to me’ mentality is one of the main reasons why women experience so much heartbreak in dating. They seem to fail to comprehend that things like timing, maturity, life experiences, career choices, etc impact a person’s relationship decisions too. So women will often cut things off a man that really did like them and couldn’t have seen her as a wife in the future simply because based on her flawed logic. So it’s thinking like this that often cause a woman to think and behave in a way that disrupts the natural dating process and ruin situations that could have potentially turned out to be their ‘happily ever after’ if their flawed ways of viewing men and relationships hadn’t got in the way.

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Focus on being a friend with no motives, develop a strength of love for one another throughout the months/years and it’s possible you may end going from her best friend to the only thing that makes sense in her life. That’s how you connect with a woman on this level cause all the other horny dudes have been stuck on her exterior beauty. When you go for a woman on a certain level, you must have a high level of confidence. It takes a grounded and rooted man to stand behind a strong, breathtaking woman in her youth. You want her to live her life, don’t be the guy that takes away youthful years with your bullshit. Don’t hog the ball if you know you can’t shoot. Leave the ball on the court ‘while you go and work on your jump shot’.

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You’ll stop envying other people’s relationships when you realize how many people are in relationships for a place to stay/financial reasons or to prove a point to other people. Shit rarely is as real as they perceive it to be. So chill. There’s nothing wrong with falling in love with someone. By the time you realise that it’s too late to change your mind about whether you want to be involved with them. It’s a problem when you catch feelings and then assume that the person has to feel the same way about you! You can’t make someone love you or want to be with you. I don’t want my happiness to depend on whether a person gives me their attention or not. I don’t want to stay up late wondering whether she is thinking about me. I don’t want to cry over someone who may not care. I don’t want to stare at my phone screen waiting for a text/call/letter or email. Most importantly, I don’t want to give anyone the power to destroy me.

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I think it’s dumb to walk away from someone that you like for simple fact that your parents/family don’t approve. Where’s the logic in that? Stop trying to convince people around you that you have a vision. They see it. They just don’t want to see it for and from you. Some woman get beaten up by their boyfriends and stick around saying, “I see something in him” WTF? What do you see exactly? What time is the rematch? Most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love. Love is always present. It’s just that one was being loved too much and the other wasn’t being loved enough. A lot of women believe in the myth of love. Where love is supposed to overcome every single obstacle or situation that comes up between a man and woman. This is the problem with the “unconditional love” fairytale. It causes a lot of women to overlook the fact that love has to be nurtured and there are lots of things that can make a person fall out of love with you. Sometimes, I’ve learned people will cut you off simply because they want to live their lie in peace.

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Pretending to be a savage, won’t heal that hole in your heart. Yeah, ladies, “Stay strong” Stay strong and end up single init. You have got to believe that your true love is out there and worth waiting for. Especially if your heart has ever been broken. Don’t give up on real love. Love is what we’re born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. meaning lies in us and you deserve to feel so special and honoured that you can no longer be mad at what you’ve been through before because it will help you understand how to appreciate your blessings.

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H said it
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When they told you that Black was evil and Darkness was negative. They lied.

The only cure is to embrace the darkness.

Twitter – @jason_r_t

Instagram – @_jasonrt

 

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5 Comments

  1. ITSHERMELANIN

    This was deep! You weren’t playing and I for one really appreciate that! When you talked about not givonign up on love and standing behind a woman rather than taking her youth away from her Boyyyy! Some grown man words🙌🏾Keep it up king x

    Liked by 2 people

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