Too many adults lack proper communication and comprehension skills; they can’t articulate their emotions appropriately and see every difference of opinion as an invitation to an argument.
They become dismissive, defensive and hostile when someone disagrees with them and lack accountability when they’re wrong. It’s pointless to even attempt a proper discussion because they automatically assume that everything is an attack on them, and they either become defensive or immediately result in silent treatment.
Learning to communicate effectively and correctly is a skill that should be instilled in us during childhood, but many weren’t given that opportunity. We confuse disagreements with disrespect, debate and defend our insecurities instead of the topic, and have little to no conflict-resolution skills, but I hope we’ll get there in due time!
It is not your responsibility to make people happy; your job is to be a good person. You need to work on yourself to come to the situation already fulfilled. That way, you’re a positive addition and not a disruption to anybody else’s state of being. But it is your job to be the sole creator of your happiness. Happiness is a choice. It is not a result; think about it. We always say that once I do this, I will be so happy. As soon as we achieve it, a little time passes, and we are no longer satisfied.
Now add that to the fact women’s emotions fluctuate so frequently. You’ll be drained forever, constantly figuring out how to keep her happy and that’s not a way to live. Also, she’s not responsible for your happiness. You must have your interests and passions outside her to keep you fulfilled. Our emotions are our responsibilities, and placing that on someone else is selfish as fuck and rooted in entitlement.
Please don’t try to have a casual conversation with me if you owe an apology. However, you have to find peace with never receiving an apology from people who can’t recognize their faults and aren’t accurate enough to heal. You’ll lose your sanity trying to get a selfish person to understand you. You can’t help everyone heal. Leave them where they messed up with you.
I think the concept of love, commitment, and marriage is not proper today because many women feel love is butterflies in their stomachs and looks perfect all the time, and he’s always smelling good and treating them like royalty. That’s not reality.
It’s a decision that you’ve chosen this person. You’re going to be committed to this person and that there are going to be tests, trials, struggles, and you’re not going to always agree on something. But nowadays, it just seems like the mindset, okay, this ain’t working anymore, I’m out. See, this is the thing: the problem I think with relationships today is people are too selfish. It’s all about them. All lasting relationships include a lot of forgiveness. The truth is everybody is going to hurt you. You just gotta figure out who’s worth the pain and who you want to grow and prosper with. You’re not supposed to win or lose arguments. You’re supposed to reach a mutual understanding and agreement. Otherwise, you both lose.
When we got married, I told her, I said, hey, if we get mad at each other or get upset or she doesn’t want me sleeping in the bed with you and you’re angry, I’ll sleep on the sofa, I’ll go in the next room. But you ain’t going to your friends and family and I am not running to my friends and family. We ain’t running and telling them nothing. What’s happening here is because this is between you and me, I really believe that really strongly.
On my team, you have to be an asset. You can’t be a liability. You don’t need to be on my team if you’re one. That is no different from a woman in my life; if she’s a liability, she doesn’t need to be with me. If she doesn’t want to listen and learn or she doesn’t bring something to the table, then she doesn’t need to be around me.
You can’t please everybody when I learnt that my life was great. I don’t care what you think about me because you can’t let the world dictate who you are.
Part of maturity is recognizing that love isn’t always enough to make a relationship work. Believing that you deserve to be in a loving relationship with someone who shares your values and treats you well requires viewing yourself positively. You can’t move on from somebody until you detach from them, and you can’t detach from them without realizing that you are attached to them.
Life has taught me that you can’t control someone’s loyalty; no matter how good you are to them, it doesn’t mean they will treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, it doesn’t mean that they will value you the same. Sometimes, the people you love the most are those you can trust the least.
If someone truly cares about you, it would break their heart knowing they hurt you. People make mistakes, but when you tell them they hurt them, they respond by gaslighting, deflecting, lying and manipulating. That is not love; that’s ego. They’re more concerned about being criticized, judged, looking bad, and not being the perfect people they believe they are. You threaten their illusions of themselves, so they respond by getting defensive. In their mind, you insulted them. They don’t care how you feel; they’re angry you called them out. Call them out anyway.
It hurts the most when you genuinely want things to work out with someone, but they leave you in a way that makes it feel like you mean nothing to them. It’s as if all the memories you shared together never existed for them, but you’re still lost in them, unable to let go.
Anybody who is going to ghost you has a lack of consideration towards other people, so they’re borderline psychotic in a lot of ways because the kind of person that ghosts you is not the kind of person you want in your life. After all, they actually really show you who they are. I can’t show up, not even to tell you that I’m afraid of this. So, I will take the convenient route instead of looking at you and confronting you, which I will maintain.
Let people lose you; let them go along with the crowd. Let them believe what they want to believe. Let them tell whatever story they want to tell. Let them think that they are better without you. Let them make you the villain in their story. Let them sleep on you. Because once they wake up, they are going to wake up. They will realize their mistake, and it’ll be just enough time for you time for you. To finally accept they weren’t the person for you. To finally accept that they aren’t who you thought they were. To finally admit that you are genuinely better without you then. To acknowledge that you might have overlooked some things, and now you see that God is so much more significant to you. God knows that your loyal heart wouldn’t have chosen to leave. No matter how bad it got, he can propel you into purpose. Bless you, in the ways that he always intended. Introduce you to the person you never knew you needed. But he couldn’t do it with them around. Let them make the mistake. Let them lose you.
When someone treats you like one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation. Sometimes, you must try not to care, no matter how much you do. Sometimes, you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you. It’s not pride – it’s self-respect. Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you deserve.
Tell a sad truth about life? Being entirely honest with women gets you ruined as they are not wired for it because they don’t lie hearing the truth; just tell them what they want to hear, and they’ll be fine.
Look, some of you know that your woman is not for you; she’s too sneaky, she’s too argumentative, and she doesn’t respect you. I am going to tell you something: nothing will throw you off more than trying to make a woman that’s not for you. Few things are more embarrassing; few things can drain life forces much, and here is the harsh truth, no matter how much you love her, some women do not have the spirit of a wife within them; they might want a wedding, but they don’t have the spirit of a wife in them. You have to have the discernment to tell the difference. You have to use your intuition, and you have to be able to recognize the patterns no matter how difficult they are. You can’t change anyone and cannot prove yourself to someone who has already shown you how they feel about you. One of the biggest kickers is that if a woman doesn’t respect you, she will eventually leave you anyway, so you might as well keep your pride as a man and deal with the pain of heartbreak. Know that once it’ll be okay. These are the things that God puts you through to sharpen you and make you a better man because of what you would tell your little brother in this situation. If there’s no respect, there can be no relationship?
I’m not even upset or angry anymore. I’m just tired. I’m tired of putting in more effort than I receive, trusting people and getting betrayed, loving too much and not getting the same love back, and getting my hopes up, only to be let down again.
Men are not emotionless; we have deep emotions and don’t know how to express them, so let me tell you. You’ll never hear from us again if you make us feel unsafe. If I tell you something in a moment of vulnerability and you use it against me in an argument, you can forget me talking to you forever. You keep talking about how he was quiet, shut down, and was in his man cave. He won’t open up because you shut the door on him when he did open up.
Some of ya’ll think you make good partners because you don’t cheat but fail to realize you’re inconsiderate, underappreciated, manipulative, insecure, lack empathy, have poor communication skills, and harbour emotional trauma from past trash relationships.
Don’t bother returning if you choose someone else over me. Once you realize that you were the one who had your back, provided stability, and served as your safe place, please do not attempt to return.
Nobody can make me jealous of a person I was miserable with. I am an unstoppable force of nature. My determination and resilience propel me forward through any obstacle. Like the elements of nature, I flow with strength and power. Nothing can stop me from achieving my goals.
I’ll always love you, but I’ll let you go, I hope this isn’t the end of our story, but if it is, thank you for being my home for a little while. I know we weren’t perfect, but I’ll always look fondly at our time together and if we ever cross paths again. I hope forever is forever that time.
I have a darkside, which is well hidden as I usually don’t care to embrace it. My anger is slow but once I reach a boiling point, there is no controlling me. I know this only too well which is I avoid confrontations or conflict. When I am upset, I know I am dangerous, reckless, unpredictable and ruthlessly cold. It is wise not to push me to that point. As I said at the start, I’m not perfect.
Darkside Don
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