We all just want to be happy, right?
Yes, but is pursuing happiness derailing the pursuit of mindfulness? Let’s discuss
Big up to everyone who turned up to my birthday in August (Haven’t dropped a blog since! Nevertheless, real MVP’s!
My cousin asked a serious question during the ‘Truth or dare’ we played towards the back end of the night.
“Jason, are you happy? Even though, I was very quick to respond, “Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” That simple question transported me into evaluative head games about the past and the future until finally, I blurted something out.
So I had to think about it and write the little things in life, that I take for granted.
- I am alive
- My parents are well
- I am breathing
- I have a good support system around me
- A roof over my head
- Clothes fresh out the dryer
However, there is a hitch. Happiness is a strangely elusive concept. It all truly depends!
I am happy with my current life. Of all 28 people who turned up to celebrate my birthday, you’d saw a different side to me to what I actually do not need to talk about on social media. There were things, I kept quiet for years, even decades but you saw this on the night.
I have beautiful and supportive friends. I have healthy parents. I am living comfortably over a couple of houses. I don’t have to worry so much about my future, I know I’ll get there. Yes, I am not where I want to be career-wise, which will help my happiness but I know it’s a process of me working hard to get where I want to get to!
Overall though, no matter what, my happiness overrides my unhappiness so all is well 🙂 There is absolutely no reason for me to be unhappy.
Happiness is a strangely elusive concept. You have to break it down, at a very simplistic level. A satisfying sensory overload of pleasure courses through my brain and body. But it will pass pretty quickly and soon, as the realization sets in that maybe the piece was 30% too big than it ought to have been, the happiness will become something else. Possibly, indigestion or guilt.
I, for one, do not need to announce a new relationship on social media and indirect another man for browny points. That doesn’t class as happiness to me. I’d feel like a dickhead if my new bae did that. Say it with your chest, if you were unhappy with some of my comments (even if they were not directed at you). You’re a big woman, act like one, nevertheless, enjoy your new ‘king’ and hopefully, you have a long-lasting relationship. I don’t want to see any negativity if doesn’t work out about “men being trash”
Likewise, if happiness is supposed to be based on an overall assessment of life circumstances, how reliable is that? If you’re in a struggle, such as trying to find a job, or you’re grieving the death of someone very close to you, how likely are you to respond well to happy, happy, smiley, smiley messages? You will not because life is extremely hard.
If happiness has real meaning as a goal in life, it needs to point to something deeper, broader, and more sustaining than pleasant sensations or pain-free success in life. How many celebs aren’t happy with life despite being successful in others eyes?
Researchers reach for words that point to deeper and bigger places in our mind than just ‘happiness’. They talk about an overall sense of well-being, which points not to something going on in our head but to something we sense in our body and mind.
The deeper brand of happiness doesn’t depend on circumstances, money, moralistic and materialistic. It hits us when we loosen our attitude toward what we have and what’s going on in our life when we decide to be content. It doesn’t mean we give up trying to improve upon a bad situation. It simply means we discover a kind of resilience that doesn’t let a bad situation define who we are.
It leaves you a little bit of space to stop questioning whether you are happy or not but looking real deep into what makes as really happy.
“First thing in the mornin’
When I wake up
Thank God for life
Look in the mirror and say, “Bitch I’m the best”
Best, best, best, best, best, best
Way too blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed
Blessed, blessed, blessed
Bitch, I’m the best, best, best, best, best, best, best
Way too blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed
Blessed, blessed, blessed (woo)”