I feel you

This one is for you and you know who you are! I haven’t spoken to you in time but I’ve been busy, forgive me! But it’s something I should’ve done ages ago!

Now I’m coming straight to you. I’m going to the source and asking you to let me get to know you, reveal your true nature. I give my life to serving your purpose. That’s what I really want more than anything else and in order to do that, I feel I really have to know you and our connection has to be, intimate, undeniable, direct, and of course personal.

You have no phone but I still talk to you. You have no Facebook but you’re still my friend. I still follow you even though you’re not on Twitter. I like you despite the fact you’re not on Instagram and I know you give me more than 10 seconds, unlike Snapchat.

I’ve spent my whole life being told by others who you are and who you’re not, what you are, what you’re not, where I’d find you, and where not even to bother looking. I’ve seen so many different depictions and pictures and I’ve heard countless stories about you, including many people’s personal accounts of their experiences.

I believe you have no denomination, you have no judgment and you have an energy that when I am connected to you, I know why I am here and what I am here to do. I trust you, you already know how I feel wherever you are. I’m writing this down to share with the world because I have a very special request. This isn’t your typical talk because I’m not asking for something small. I’m also not asking for you to intervene and restore peace in the war-torn countries, to end world hunger & poverty, to heal disease, and to make my dreams come true (although all of those would be great)… but I am asking for a miracle. In fact, this is the biggest, most significant, and important thing I’ve ever asked for.

I want to know you, like I really know you. I want to know who you are, what you’re all about, and what you’re like. This past year or so, I have definitely got closer to you and you’ve revealed many things about myself.

I’ve heard it said that you are love and that I only need to look within to discover you. When I think about that, my heart lights up, and yet so many people become closed and shut down at the mention of your name but I understand why they do that. As you know, I’ve had my moments of doubts and questioned you but deep down in my heart, soul, my faith, and belief in you have always remained strong. It just took such a bad situation for that to happen.

In my lifetime, I’ve witnessed senseless tragedies and acts of violence committed in your name, signaling the decline of our planet and civilization. Some say that you should’ve intervened and others say that these things have happened because you have created them with the free will that you gave us.

I know there’s this tricky thing about faith, which says that true faith is measured by our belief in that which we haven’t seen, experienced, or had proof of. I believe you are real, through my dreams and signs I have received countless times! I know you exist. I have no doubt about that, regardless of what others have said. I want to feel your presence and recognize it, the way a child knows his mother’s touch or the sound of his father’s voice. I want to know you so closely that I can be as cozy with you as I am with my family and friends, knowing that you get me and that you are there for me even when I’m not making sense or going off the rails.

I, thank you for the stuff I take for granted. The air I have, the food I eat, the money I spend. Also, the clothes I have and the roof over my head. Especially the lives I’ve touched on this journey but that’s because of you and no-one else. You gave me this platform and I will carry on as long as you want me. It’s a gift given so I’m going to use it.

Others can call me what they want. Yes, I am an ‘opinionated dweeb’ who don’t follow the crowd. But they can’t convince me that you don’t love me. Some will say what I have is down to luck, why can’t it just be, that I’m blessed. I’m just Jason, running through life, chasing my dream(s). I got a date with destiny and she’s more than any woman.

Never allow my loyalty to turn into stupidity. Dead the situation and allow me to move on. I know I am everything you want me to be right now, it’s just a bit mad how others can’t see it but that that shows they’re not for me. You are. I don’t have to prove myself to anyone, it took me years to do that and I don’t have that much time for anyone else. I do not have to wait for the world to recognize my greatness, so I live it and let the world catch up to me.

Some days, I’m in the crowd all by myself with a bunch of people around but I’m still by myself, I drift off on a cloud thinking about life. What’s the reason for my breathing? Is it a test to see if I really belong here? I don’t care if I am rich or poor, I just want peace in my mind and heart.

I try and be positive as I hate being miserable. However, I put a message in my words through my blogs and hopefully, brightens someone’s day.

These days it’s hard to tell who really cares for me but I got you and I know you got me.

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